[Access] Comforting Thoughts
d. maria
mariah at efn.org
Tue Nov 20 00:49:42 CST 2007
Now, David, I didn't laugh once... It sounds to me like it could work.
How could they stop us? This is a GREAT idea. dm
On Nov 18, 2007, at 7:00 PM, David Gilmartin wrote:
> Got some room for levity? You might enjoy this:
>
>
> No nursing home for us. We are checking into the Holiday Inn!
>
>
>
> With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day,
> there is a better way when we get old & feeble. We have already
> checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term
> stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves
> $138.77 a day for: breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we
> want, or room service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
> Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and
> washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have
> free shampoo and soap.
>
>
>
> $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to
> help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a
> city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will
> also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
>
>
>
> To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
>
>
>
> For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one
> of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly
> somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
>
>
>
> It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will
> take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place
> forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want
> to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light
> bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix
> everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
>
>
>
> The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid
> checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or
> an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the
> hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your
> life.
>
>
>
> And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad
> to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
>
>
>
> The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?
>
>
>
> So, when we reach that golden age, we'll face it with a grin.
>
>
>
> Happy Thanksgiving, from David
> Gilmartin_______________________________________________
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