[Access] Comforting Thoughts

[David Gilmartin]

Got some room for levity? You might enjoy this:


No nursing home for us. We are checking into the Holiday Inn!


With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day,  
there is a better way when we get old & feeble. We have already  
checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long term  
stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night. That leaves  
$138.77 a day for: breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant we  
want, or room service. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.  
Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and  
washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have  
free shampoo and soap.



$5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help  
you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city  
bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also  
pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).



To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.



For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one  
of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly  
somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.



It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will  
take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place  
forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want  
to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. TV broken? Light  
bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix  
everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.



The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid  
checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will call the undertaker or  
an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the  
hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your  
life.



And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to  
find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.



The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?



So, when we reach that golden age, we'll face it with a grin.



Happy Thanksgiving, from David Gilmartin
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