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The following letter was written by the Board President and is endorsed by the UUCE Board.
Dear Members and Friends of UUCE,
Many of us were present at last Sunday’s town hall meeting, where we heard about the state of the building project and plans for the move to our new home. Near the close of that meeting, Ed Zack called on all of us to be flexible in the weeks and months ahead, because this building project will not be finished on the day we move in, and it is possible, even likely, that things will not go exactly according to plan.
The very title of the building project blog, 400 days, and the fact that by the time we do move in we will be well over day 600 demonstrates that we have indeed been extremely flexible and understanding of the unexpected twists and turns that have accompanied us along the path to our new home. This flexibility and our generosity have been further demonstrated by our giving many hundreds of thousands of dollars more than a professional consultant thought we could expect to raise, and by our continued enthusiastic support of the project, despite the significant changes to the amount of money and effort we thought would be required when we began.
I appeal to each of us to extend that same spirit of generosity and flexibility to other areas of church life. I have heard from those who are upset about the experimental 10:00 service or about the way that the request for a quieter sanctuary was made. I understand that there are people who are upset at what they perceive as a top down or autocratic direction of our church.
When Rev. Forsey was hired, it was with the understanding that she would be serving her second year with us in our new home, where there would be just one service, and where she would be able to really do the necessary work of interim ministry, which would be extremely difficult to focus on while the church’s energies were concentrated on a huge building project. Everyone, including our Minister, understood that things might come up that would cause us to miss the goal of being in the new building by the start of her second year with us. When it became clear that this was the case, Rev. Forsey was flexible and continued with the 2 service schedule. When it became obvious that the move would be seriously delayed, she demonstrated flexibility and worked with staff to try something different that would appeal to younger people and those with kids, or those who specifically wanted a multi-generational service. This change also made it possible to try some small group forums for adults who wanted to engage in discussion of specific spiritual topics.
The Minister was trying to make the best of a less than ideal situation and was demonstrating flexibility and generosity of spirit with these actions. The services were discussed in two newsletter columns. The forums were talked about in the newsletter and e-bulletin. When feedback from congregants indicated that the wording of her initial request for quiet in the sanctuary was not understood as she had intended, Rev. Forsey made it clear that she was not asking for absolute silence prior to the start of the worship service. These are not the actions of an autocrat. They are the actions of a caring and generous Minister.
Let us remember our mission: Empowered by love, we transform ourselves and serve our world”. And let us extend the spirit of understanding, flexibility and generosity to all aspects of church life.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mary Otten, President, UUCE Board of Trustees
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In my column last month, I focused on the first part of our new mission statement, “empowered by love”. This month, I want to focus on the second segment, which refers to transformation: “we transform ourselves”, and ask the question, what might such transformation look like for us as individuals and for our church and its culture?
To tell the truth, I believe it is the power of love, rather than each of us as individuals that enables the transformation. It begins with the idea that each one of us has inherent worth and dignity as human beings, which can not be taken away, regardless of our race, gender, sexual orientation, ability or socio-economic status. Nor is it dependent on our subscribing to a certain set of “right” beliefs. This realization of inherent worth and dignity is often verbalized by newcomers to our church who talk about having found a home or having been UU all their lives without knowing it.
This acceptance is the necessary first step, the foundation upon which we can build intentional loving community. It is the beginning, not the end of the process. The next steps will undoubtedly be somewhat different for each individual, since each one’s background and life experiences are different. These might include:
- Participating in groups where we can really get to know people, including those whose spiritual journeys and paths may be quite different from our own
- Learning something of our history, our roots and our connections with and debt to our Unitarian and Universalist forbearers
- Participating in study groups where various scriptures or wisdom literature of world religions may be studied and engaged from the point of view of appreciative inquiry, not criticism and judgment
- Starting or deepening a spiritual practice and perhaps finding others with whom we can share it.
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I will cite my own experience as an example. When I came to our church, my goal was simply to find a place where I would not be told what I had to believe and where my participation would not be limited to certain aspects of church life because I am a woman. I wasn’t particularly looking for spiritual growth opportunities to be provided by the group. I had no intention of darkening the church door on the major Christian holidays, since I had left Christianity, or what I thought was Christianity, far behind decades ago. And when CUUPS became active, I did my best to avoid worship services with any sort of pagan overtone. And if you had asked me what I knew about Atheists, I’d have happily lectured you on the horrors of the avowedly Atheist Soviet Union and the spiritual emptiness and obvious immorality of materialistic Atheism. Fortunately for me, my experiences with members and Ministers in our church have opened my eyes to the narrowness of the perspective I had when I became a member. I can now actually say that some of the most spiritually aware people I know are Atheists and I have truly appreciated the participation of the UU Pagans in our worship services. The Christmas Eve service with the candles and singing is one of my favorite services of the entire church year. And I now understand that the Christianity of my childhood, as well as the virulently intolerant version espoused by some of the most well-funded and loudest voices who call themselves Christian is by no means representative of the majority who follow Jesus, some of whom are also UUs.
As we connect with others in our community whose life path and spiritual journey is markedly different from our own, and as we truly learn to appreciate the experiences and perspectives of others, we will grow in our ability to look for the good in those we don’t yet know. And we will be more open and accepting of a broader array of ritual, music and religious expression at our worship services. This kind of open embrace of diversity, embodied in the famous saying of Francis David that “we need not think alike to love alike” is a manifestation of the transformative power of love, which will serve us well as we prepare to move in to our new home and to meet newcomers with open hearts and true acceptance.
Mary Otten,
Board President |
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Last fall, we embraced a mission statement for our church which has profound implications for how we will be as a church community, because it speaks of our being empowered by love and says that we will transform ourselves. And based on these two foundations of love and transformation, we will serve our world.
What do we mean when we say we are empowered by love? How is that empowerment evident in our congregation?
Some examples are obvious. We provide support to people in need. We lend a helping hand, a listening ear, and words of encouragement or a shoulder to cry on. We give of our resources, material and otherwise, to support our church and community organizations that are making the world a better place, especially for those in the most need.
Then there are the not so obvious ways, when we do things that are quite often more difficult than those I just named. When we hear negative rumor or gossip, even from a friend, we tell the person speaking to us that we are uncomfortable and change the subject, and we suggest that they speak directly with the person with whom they have a disagreement. We help make our community a safe place for all by kindly but firmly insisting that negative, judgmental comments about a person, based on their membership in a political party or adherence to a particular theology or spiritual path are not ok. And neither are jokes that denigrate or laugh at, rather than with, individuals or groups. And we strive to recognize and overcome our tendency to make assumptions about people based on their looks, what they wear, how they talk, the level of their formal education or any other superficial characteristic that we humans use to put people in to the box labeled “not like me”.
Finally, and most difficult of all, we do our best to remember that each one of us, being human, is a work in progress. And it is inevitable that we will miss the mark on occasion. And when that happens, we ask forgiveness for ourselves and do our best to make amends. And we are generous towards others who ask the same for themselves.
Under the best of circumstances, real connection and friendship can result from the heartfelt communication that is the result of a dialogue that begins with a request for forgiveness, along with an honest attempt to understand the person who has experienced pain as a result of our actions. Difficulties arise when an individual continues to behave in ways that are inappropriate, hurtful or even abusive. I think that this is the scenario that presents the most difficulty for us, because most of us would rather avoid conflict. So we let it go, perhaps believing that we are thus demonstrating our belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all. I believe that, however well-intentioned, this “live and let live” approach is destructive of community, discouraging to guests and newcomers and, in the long run, not helpful for the person whose inappropriate behavior we are enabling. I encourage each of us to reflect on this problem. What does love require of us in this situation?
Mary Otten,
Board President |
A New Year: Our Move, Ministerial Search & Governance Changes
Empowered by love, we transform our lives and serve our world.
The start of a new calendar year is often the occasion for assessment of progress and examination of priorities. With respect to our church, there are several important areas that will require attention during the remainder of this church year.
The first of these is the long-anticipated move in to our new church home. Our congregation continues to demonstrate amazing generosity through gifts of time, skill and dollars. We have raised several hundreds of thousands of dollars more than was projected by our professional capital campaign consultant.
But as you know from the letter you received from the Capital Campaign Committee, we are still in need of more funds in order to complete the remodeling and get our occupancy permit. Therefore, the Board unanimously endorsed a proposal to call a special congregational meeting, to be held on 15 January following the 2nd service. We will be asking the congregation to approve the transfer of much of our endowment fund to the capital account in order to help bridge the gap between what has been raised or pledged and what is needed to obtain the occupancy permit.
Such a step is not common, but neither is it unprecedented. And the Board believes that the consequences of a delayed move are sufficiently serious that the use of the endowment for this purpose is necessary and fully justified. Our inability to make this move in the spring will put us in an untenable position from many points of view. Consider the many volunteers, some of whom will have been working essentially full time for over 2 years on this project by this spring. Also consider the disruption to our church life that will occur if we have to move twice, once to an unknown location, and the second time to our new home. Finally, consider the financial consequences of a delayed move on our ability to get settled in to the building and begin earning much needed rental income that will be essential when we start paying the mortgage from our general fund in 2013.
Another important area of focus this year is ministerial search. At a recent Board meeting, Rev. Alicia informed us that after much thought and reflection, she has decided not to ask for an extension of her contract to serve a 3rd year with us. The Board respects this decision and appreciates that Rev Alicia informed us of her decision with enough lead time to allow us to form a search committee and for that committee to do its job in a thoughtful, unhurried manner.
Unlike the search committee for a settled Minister, the interim search committee is selected by the Board and should consist of both Board members and nonboard members. It will be formed after the first of the year, and its work will end with the hiring of a new interim Minister in the spring.
In addition to these areas of focus, the Board continues its work on longer term goals of governance change and greater emphasis on right relations in our church culture. Jason Dedrick is leading the task force on bylaw changes, and we anticipate that there will be a congregational meeting in February to deal with the first "easy" ones. The Board is aware that the ongoing building project and the move will continue to be the primary focus for the congregation. We understand that people have only so much energy, time and other resources to give. Nonetheless, it is vital that we continue to make progress in areas of church life that are not related to the building project and also that our upcoming annual fund drive is successful.
Rev. Alicia has stated on many occasions that she sees a bright future for us. The generosity of so many members and friends, the caring that is demonstrated when we reach out to help those in our community and beyond who are in need, and the thousands of hours of volunteer work given in service to the church all justify this faith. Let us move in to the New Year with renewed resolution to continue the work in the spirit of our newly adopted Covenant of Right Relations.
Mary Otten,
Board President |
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