For Men Only

Being a man is a curious existence. Sometimes easy. Sometimes confusing. The opportunity for men to meet with other men can have some significant payoffs.

Our mens' groups were started in the early 1980's and have been meeting regularly since. Always we have been a support group for men, seeking to understand men, and discussing anything of interest to us. Attendance has been as few as one and as many as two dozen.

As men we tend to feel we must be self-reliant and don't need anyone else. Most of us who have participated in our mens' group a few times find that other men share our concerns and questions, that other men have experienced our sorrows and worries and often can help us to face problems knowing that we are not alone.

We help each other in times of trouble, share our joys, explore our feelings. We have cooked spaghetti for the whole church, presented Sunday programs, sponsored church events, gone bowling and to movies and ball games. We hold weekend retreats for ourselves. We experience the satisfaction of working hard together. Close friendships have grown up among us.

We are not anti-women. Indeed, we commonly discuss our relationships with women--wives, lovers, daughters, mothers, sisters, and women in general, seeking to enrich our lives and those of women. We try to understand women's viewpoints. We have had serious discussions on feminist issues and how they affect us and other men and women.

Our meetings are very informal with little ceremony. Normally we begin with a timed "check-in" offering each man three minutes to express how he is feeling and how the past week has been. If he has something he would like to discuss at length, a problem or concern he wants to talk about, time will be reserved for him. After all, that is what we are all about. Then, if a program is scheduled, it will be presented. If nothing is scheduled, we discuss anything of interest to the group.

We don't take roll or keep minutes of our sessions. We use little or no ritual. We have no officers and few rules. We don't drum or chant or have a secret handshake. Church affiliation is not material to us.

One rule we have maintained: what is said in the group stays in the group. This allows us freedom to express ourselves more openly. We light a "Confidentiality Candle" to keep ourselves reminded of this trust level.

In order that everyone can participate, we are divided into three groups, the open meeting on Wednesday nights. Currently the other groups are closed to new members. All Open Group meetings are second and fourth Wednesdays of the month at 7:00 p.m. for about two hours at church (currently in Room 6, downstairs).

Nothing is ever required of anyone. All activities are strictly voluntary and anyone can choose to participate or not at any time. We want everyone to feel comfortable, always.

We invite you to come and try us out. We think you'll like what you find.

Bob Coleman, 541-461-0956, milndoc@msn.com