Taking Marriage Private
For most of Western history, the state’s permission to marry was unnecessary because marriage was a private contract between two families. The parents’ agreement to the match, not the approval of church or state, was what confirmed its validity. For 16 centuries, Christianity also defined the validity of a marriage on the basis of a couple’s wishes. If two people claimed they had exchanged marital vows — even out alone by the haystack — the Catholic Church accepted that they were validly married. In 1215, the church decreed that a “licit” marriage must take place in church... Not until the 16th century did European states begin to require that marriages be performed under legal auspices...The American colonies officially required marriages to be registered, but until the mid-19th century, state supreme courts routinely ruled that public cohabitation was sufficient evidence of a valid marriage. By the later part of that century, however, the United States began to nullify common-law marriages and exert more control over who was allowed to marry...By the 1920s, 38 states prohibited whites from marrying blacks, “mulattos,” Japanese, Chinese, Indians... or Filipinos...Eighteen states set barriers to remarriage after divorce... courts invalidated laws against interracial marriage, struck down other barriers and even extended marriage rights to prisoners... Using the existence of a marriage license to determine when the state should protect interpersonal relationships is increasingly impractical... Possession of a marriage license is no longer the chief determinant of which obligations a couple must keep, either to their children or to each other. But it still determines which obligations a couple can keep — who gets hospital visitation rights, family leave, health care and survivor’s benefits. This may serve the purpose of some moralists. But it doesn’t serve the public interest of helping individuals meet their care-giving commitments... Perhaps it’s time to revert to a much older marital tradition. Let churches decide which marriages they deem “licit.” But let couples — gay or straight — decide if they want the legal protections and obligations of a committed relationship. (New York Times)
http://tinyurl.com/3tylvr
A RESIGNATION AND A PROTEST
Ex-Ambassador Criticizes Rice
Envoy Unhappy With State Department's Treatment of Gays
By Glenn Kessler
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, December 5, 2007; Page A27
... Within the State Department, gay men and lesbians are widely accepted, in contrast to the military, where an admission of homosexuality is grounds for dismissal. But ex-ambassador Michael E. Guest and others say the State Department's regulations have not kept pace with the department's culture, especially as Foreign Service officers overseas face increasing dangers.
For instance, same-sex partners -- or unmarried heterosexual partners -- are refused anti-terrorism security training or foreign-language training and are not evacuated when eligible family members are ordered to depart. Unlike spouses, they do not receive diplomatic passports, visas or even use of the State Department mail system. They also must pay their own way overseas, get their own medical care and are left to fend for themselves if a partner is sent to a dangerous post such as Iraq .
Many of these rules, Guest said, could be changed with Rice's signature, which he said was not a matter of gay rights but of equal treatment...
Aaron W. Jensen, president of Gays and Lesbians in Foreign Affairs Agencies, said the group's leadership met with Rice in May 2005 to argue for a change in policies but "we would like more leadership on this issue." He said that surveys indicated that about 350 same-sex partners were affected by the regulations. There are 12,000 Foreign Service officers, and about 5 percent are gay, he said.
J. Michelle Schohn, an officer in the intelligence bureau, said she gave up a budding career in archaeology and joined the Foreign Service simply because of the hassles she encountered when her partner was based in Azerbaijan, shortly after the Soviet Union collapsed. One of her partner's colleagues got married and his spouse immediately got a diplomatic passport, but Schohn was treated no differently than any American tourist. Because of the difficulties, she ended up flying to Azerbaijan a month at a time to stay with her partner, and received no housing allowance for staying home...
Another Foreign Service officer, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of her counterterrorism wor! k, said she had to pay for her partner's evacuation when she was based in an African country that erupted in conflict. Her partner was not allowed to attend embassy security briefings and was prohibited from using the diplomatic postage service. "Effectively, she doesn't exist," she said.
The travel costs of family pets, however, are paid for by the State Department.
Separate but equal? Less valuable?
Jerry Sanders, San Diego Mayor, Republican, and former police chief, told reporters that he could no longer back the position he took during his election campaign two years ago, when he said he favored civil unions but not full marriage for gays. The concept of a 'separate but equal' institution is not something that I can support."… "In the end, I could not look any of my friends or my gay adult daughter in the face and tell them that their relationships -- their very lives -- were any less meaningful than the marriage that I share with my wife Rana,"
Jerry Sanders
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,297403,00.html
Summary of a study done in the Netherlands about children of lesbian couples:
Source: Alliant International University
Date: September 28, 2007
Children Of Lesbian Couples Are Doing Well
Science Daily - A study of families in the Netherlands indicates that children raised by lesbian couples do not differ in well being or child adjustment compared with their counterparts in heterosexual-parent families.
"The findings in the Dutch study are identical to those in a very large number of U.S. studies," said Robert-Jay Green PhD, director of Rockway Institute, a national center for research and public policy on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues. "Children do well in loving families, regardless of whether there are two moms or a mom and a dad involved."
The study was conducted by Henny Bos, Frank van Balen, and Dymphna van den Boom of the University of Amsterdam.
How the study was conducted
The study involved 100 heterosexual couples and 100! lesbia n couples with children ages 4-8 who were raised by the couple since birth. The number of boys and girls in each of the comparison groups was almost identical. Child adjustment and parental characteristics were measured by questionnaires, family observations by researchers, and diaries kept by the parents regarding the amounts of time they spent in childrearing, household work, or paid work outside the home.
Highlights of findings
Among the most interesting findings, lesbian biological mothers were significantly more satisfied with their partners as a co-parent than were heterosexual mothers. The partners of lesbian biological mothers are more committed as parents than are heterosexual fathers, that is,
they display a higher level of satisfaction with their partner as co-parent and spend more time on child care and less on employment.
Lesbian couples were significantly higher on strength of desire to have children than were heterosexual couples. There were significant differences in the division of family tasks, with both of the lesbian partners spending more time on household work and childcare, and less time at work outside the home, than the heterosexual fathers.
The differences between lesbian mothers and heterosexual fathers seemed to reflect known differences between women and men as parents rather than reflecting parents sexual orientations.
"These results on lesbian parents pique our curiosity for more data on gay male parents," said Green. "Will gay fathers' parenting styles turn out to be more like those of heterosexual fathers, heterosexual mothers, or some combination."
One of Rockway's planned research projects will shed light on that question in the future.
Policy implications of the research
From a public policy perspective, the most important aspect of this research is that it found no significant differences in child adjustment between family types. In recent years, consistent research findings like these have led the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychiatric Association, and American Psychological Association to issue official policy statements supporting equal treatment of families headed by lesbian and gay parents.
This research was published in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry (2007, Vol. 77, No. 1, 38-48). Note: This story has been adapted from material provided by Alliant International University.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070928215535.htm
March 16, 2007 -
A Statement from Rev. William G. Sinkford,
President of the Unitarian Universalist Association:
I am deeply disappointed by the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff's recent homophobic remarks. General Pace's comments were profoundly disrespectful to gay, lesbian and bisexual Americans, including the thousands in uniform who are serving with honor in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere.
What saddens me the most is that Pace's comments, while offensive, are well within the bounds of the US armed forces' anti-discrimination guidelines. Under the current "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, discrimination is thriving in our military. Gay and lesbian personnel may legally be denied employment or later discharged solely because of their sexual orientation. Last year, this policy allowed the Department of Defense to fire 612 service members. Others are subject to secrecy, fear and harassment, and many of these are fighting men and women who are already in harm's way every day. Unknown numbers of qualified and patriotic men and women choose not to join the military for these reasons, and this sad loss is one that our nation can ill afford.
It is immoral for an overextended and depleted military to throw away the contributions of brave and talented service members. A military operating under a discriminatory employment policy fails the soldiers whose sacrifices guarantee the American ideals of liberty and justice for all. It fails all of us.
It is immoral to ban lesbian, gay, and bisexual persons from serving openly in the military, and the policy which mandates such discrimination must be overturned. I call on all Americans who objected to General Pace's remarks to join me in demanding the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Living Memory LGBT History Timeline
Current Elders Would Have Been This Old When These Events Happened…
Compiled by Loree Cook-Daniels
LGBT people who are now aged 50 – 100 (i.e., elders) have lived through a lot of changes in how the wider society views LGBT issues. Even those who know LGBT history well may forget just how much of it elders have personally lived through. Those who are younger and/or see how much progress the LGBT movement has made may not fully recognize how often advances have been accompanied by setbacks, and may therefore find it harder to understand the level of fear and uncertainty that may be felt by LGBT people who are old enough to remember losing rights that had previously been won.
http://www.forge-forward.org/handouts/LGBT_elder_timeline.pdf
Mama's Boy, Preacher's Son: A Memoir
Kevin Jennings
Long before Kevin Jennings began advocating to end anti-GLBT bias in schools, he was a victim of it. In Mama's Boy, Preacher's Son, Jennings traces the roots of his activism to his elementary school days in the conservative South, where "faggot" became more familiar to him than his own name. Creating safe schools for all youth is now a central part of the progressive agenda in American education-and Kevin Jennings is at the forefront of that fight. "This rags-to-riches story, about growing up poor and eventually reaching Harvard has bite and pathos . Jennings writes of his journey with graciousness and candor."-Publishers Weekly. Kevin Jennings is the founder and executive director of GLSEN, a national education organization working to make schools places where young people learn to value and respect everyone, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
